September 25, 2009
Seven Ways Flashforward Resembles Lost
June 17, 2009
In Memory of My Dad
Yesterday was the sixth anniversary of his death. In honor of Father’s Day, which is coming up, I thought I’d post the obituary I wrote for him. I remember, I tried to make it a bit more substantial.
RONALD ROMANO
Ronald “Harpo” D. Romano, 60, of Henderson, died June 16, 2003. He was born on September 10, 1942 in Morristown, New Jersey. He resided in Las Vegas for 30 years, for 20 of those years he worked in the gaming industry, most recently at the Sunset Station in Henderson. Prior to his employment in casinos, Mr. Romano was a bass guitarist in numerous jazz bands and still occasionally played gigs around town. He was married and divorced three times. His first wife, Patricia, and the mother of his daughter, died in 1980. Though he moved briefly to the Seattle area, he made Las Vegas his home for most of his adult life. He loved fishing and dreamt one day of living on the Florida coast. He was preceded in death by his father, Patrick. He is survived by his daughter, Patricia Anne of New York City; his mother, Antoinette Caruso; his older brothers, Anthony and Carmine; and his younger sister, Patricia Linfante, all of New Jersey. Services at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday, June 21 at the Chapel of the St. Rose Dominican Hospital, Sienna campus on Eastern and St. Rose Parkway (Pecos). Father Lou will officiate the service.
May 31, 2009
I Hate NY—As Told By Andy Brooks.
Andrew Brooks gives us an intelligent reasoned argument for hating New York.
Favorite bit:
“Welcome to spending half your cash on rent for a horrible apartment with headaches your head cannot imagine, and spending the other half at bars to forget how miserable you are.”
Posted using ShareThis
May 27, 2009
Mobbed Up, Yo.
The best part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey are the Defamer/Gawker wrap ups. Even better are the comments.





May 19, 2009
How To Get Killed By Your Cat
So these two crazy people work out with their mostly docile cat. My animal is about 10 pounds heavier and 60 x meaner. I would get about one rep out of her before being beheaded.
Related funny: Gavin McInnes uses his ultra-cute babies for weight lifting.
May 18, 2009
Why the Pre Treo Won’t Keep Me From Leaving Sprint

I have a been a Sprint PCS customer since 1997 or 1998. In 2007, after being absolutely pissed off at Sprint PCS’s piss-poor customer service, their unbelievably crappy phone selection, their death-grip contracts, and my Treo breaking so many times I lost count, I wrote a completely unhinged, totally adolescent, obnoxious letter to all the top executives at Sprint that ended like this:
“your company is bleeding customers and losing stock value an unprecedented rate because:
—your outsourced customer service is crap; the agents take days to respond to emails and the experience of being on the line with them is like falling into a vortex. bring it back to America for a few extra dollars.
—your phone selection is garbage.
—your website is a buggy piece of crap; it is often unviewable, with broken links, and failed several times during my recent attempt at inputting information for your security upgrade (thanks for that) to accept or save the information.”
I ended diplomatically: “Are you running a multibillion dollar corporation or a lemonade stand on the side of the road?
In the letter, I made childish demands: I wanted either a brand new phone of my choosing–the latest Blackberry or Treo—for nothing, and I wanted no changes or re-upping of my contract. If neither one of those things were met to my satisfaction, I informed these very big powerful people at the top of the food chain, they were going to let me out of my contract gratis, and buy me an iPhone or a Blackberry from one of their competitors.
I hit send and figured that I’d never hear from anyone and that I’d fulfilled my need to vent about the incompetence of the company to the ether.
Big surprise. The next day I received something like four or five phone calls from people who handled larger accounts at Sprint. It was somewhat overwhelming. I had a personal connection with someone in New York who got me a new Blackberry and set up my new account, and removed the two-year contract restrictions on my account. I had gotten everything I asked for. Whenever my phone died or broke, I had a rep who would helpfully replace it immediately.
Everything was going swimmingly until I moved to Santa Monica.
You know that Verizon commercial where the dude walks around to different areas of a room and asks, “Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?” That’s me, every time you call me on my cell phone. I literally drop every single call. Every. Single. Call. The rest of the beach area is completely spotty, as well. Text messages don’t always arrive. Important phone messages go straight to voice mail, and then I don’t notice them for hours. I’ve stopped bugging my personal connect at Sprint about how awful it is, because my year of being treated like a Very Important Person is over, and because asking Sprint to spend a few million dollars on towers in my neighborhood just because I have dropped calls, doesn’t seem very fair.
Sprint had a tough time after its merger with Nextel, and it’s doing the worst of all the cell carriers with new subscribers. On the bright side, the loss of six million customers will make the network easier and better to use. But it finally got a real CEO, Dan Hesse–after the last one quit when Sprint actually fired 1000 of its customers for complaining too much–and has been making strides in trying to fix its reputation. When I call customer service, I get clear-speaking Americans, people who can actually troubleshoot, rather than the outsourced employees from India, who read off a script and don’t really interact.
Sprint’s also gotten some better phones. They got the Blackberry Curve and Pearl, the Instinct and the Motorola Razr.
The biggest news, though, is that they are getting the Pre Treo.
This is the part that makes me very sad. I really liked my Treo when it was working. Except for the bulkiness of the phone, I liked the way it displayed text messages better than the Blackberry, I liked the emails, and I liked that you could touch the screen or use the hard keyboard. Options.
I have the Blackberry World phone now. It’s fine. It mostly does what it’s supposed to but the stupid ball gets stuck all the time, and takes forever to scroll. But it’s really loud, and I can hear everyone perfectly, and that’s mainly what I need when all is said and done. Everything else is bells and whistles. Except, it never works because the network never works.
But the Palm Treo looks like the best of the Blackberry and the iPhone. I know that everyone says that you get used to it eventually, but typing on the iPhone makes me want to throw it at a wall. The sweep and pinching thing is cute, but I’m bored by it. I like the Pre’s ability to have multiple apps open. I like it’s hard keyboard, and the fact that it’s not the iPhone. Too bad I won’t be getting it.
Because of the unbelievably sorry state of my cell phone reception via Sprint, I am literally forced to get another phone at a different company. Since I am not really interested in another Blackberry, I will likely just succumb to iPhone fever, which is on the ATT network, and I hear is marginally better than what I’ve got with Sprint.
Shockingly, I’m a little sad about leaving Sprint. It feels like letting go of an old friend.
Sprint, can you hear me now?
[From Sprint Predicts That the Pre Will Be Big - Bits Blog - NYTimes.com]
May 14, 2009
Lost Season Five Finale: You’ve Shark Jumped On Me

Lost, I am not sure when it happened. But lately when I look at you, I feel nothing. No inward stirrings, no heart palpitations, no jittery nerves. There were fleeting moments that recaptured our early days of romance, like when you ditched the time traveling stunt and got back to the good ol’ fashioned flashback, narrative arc, in “LaFleur.” Sawyer being dreamy, and making eyes with Juliet, and not being a douchebag, and Le Sigh…
And there were moments, like the episode when Ben kills Locke that were magnificent. Shivers up spine.
I think the first stirrings of uncertainty I had was when you came up with this Frozen Donkey Wheel and Time Travel. It just seemed a little…. hokey. Kind of not like you. I mean, you’ve always been pushing the border of silly and darkly mysterious—smoke monsters, polar bears, and four-toed statues will do that to a show.
But the first two, even three, seasons, you had a nice riddle-like quality to you. There was a duality and a complexity, yet, at the core, it was very simple. It was us v. them. Live together, die alone. Every man for himself. Pick a team. Choose an alliance. Good guys v. bad guys. The thrill was in the impossibility of not being sure if our team was fighting the good fight, or if the Others and Ben were who they said there—the good guys—when that seemed sort of impossible since they were doing all sorts of kidnapping and killing and stuff. But then, so was our team.
I don’t like this new Ben, the one who admits he’s never seen Jacob, who is easily manipulated into doing a deed for someone else, the one who admit he lies and who whines like a baby, “Why not me?” This Ben has no clothes. He is not the one who I love —who was once all powerful—and wicked, wicked, wicked. Wicked awesome. This Ben, well he’s too obvious. He explicates everything. Like the rest of the show, he’s explaining everything. Ben was interesting when he never showed his hands.
Lost, you are no longer interesting because you are showing all your cards; yet your writers think that because they are doing a lot of hocus pocus—Look over here! Time travel! Stuff blowing up! New couples! Weird undead Locke! —that they aren’t revealing too much, when in fact, they’ve read too many message boards.
There have been so many scenes that didn’t ring true this season.
The time you showed us what Ben saw in the smoke monster using bad CGI, instead of leaving more to the imagination, and Michael Emerson’s impeccable acting. The time Eloise Hawking bounced across a floor in a fucking cape and trilled, “You alllllll have to go back,” in a ridiculous room with weird pendulum-type objects swinging around. In this episode when Juliet explains to James and us, as if we are very small children, that she’s changed her mind because of how he looked at Kate. Really, we didn’t know that? Well, I never!
I know we complained a lot in the first four seasons because you wouldn’t tell us everything we wanted to know, but that’s also exactly why we loved you so much, because you would dole out little drips of information ever-so-carefully. Each reveal took forever and it was such a treat and we would savor it all week long, wondering about it, turning it over in our mind, reading message board post after message board post, until we were lulled into happy Lost sleep. Now, it feels like we’re on an I.V. of Lost drip, only it’s not coming bit by bit, but by a flood. It’s way too much information. It’s sort of like the relationship between paparazzi magazines and celebrities. The more you know about them, the less interesting and mythological they seem. “Celebrities: they’re just like you and me” is the worst thing to happen to movie stars. And TMI is the worst thing to happen to Lost.
So for the season-ender. Someone has to die, right? No one seems to root for Juliet and Sawyer, but I believed that they are supposed to be together not he and Kate; and I believe that Kate and Jack are supposed to be together. But is Juliet this season’s Charlie? Is she sacrificing everything because she thinks something will be better?
More importantly, let’s discuss the business in the shadow of that footsie thing.
We started to figure out that something was not the same with Locke. Did we need to see the body to confirm this? No, we did not. Because you also had that opening scene where the other dude tells Jacob that he’s totally coming back and killing him; so being above the grade of kindergarten, we could have figured that out.
Couple of things we noticed:
- Jacob has to touch everyone. Everyone he brings back to the Island, he touches. Why?
- Does Jacob purposely orchestrate this group so they will come to the Island to help get him killed? Remember when he said to Locke in the cabin a few seasons back, “Help me?” Did he mean for Locke to save him from the killing, or save him by killing him?
- Remember that weird moment earlier this season when Ben comes to help Locke off the chair to stop committing suicide, and as soon Locke mentions that he knows how to get back because he’s seen Ms. Hawkings, he kills Locke? Is that because Ben already knows that Locke is going to come back and make him kill Jacob?
- On whose side is Ellie and Widmore? Are they opposing? Is Widmore on the side of the bad guy in the beginning of the episode? Do we even know that Jacob is a good guy?
- If they reset time, does this mean they are also stopping the evil Locke killing Jacob segment of time?
- Nestor Carbonell is hot.
- Why is Richard suddenly so passive and un-sage-like? Why is he just the advisor and not the leader?
- Who wants to join Bernard and Rose? (Raises hand).
- Will Sayid bite it?
- Were you also as confused as Sawyer?
- Maybe Juliet and the weapon didn’t set off the incident. Maybe it just happened anyway.
- What if Miles was right? Maybe they weren’t supposed to do anything at all?
- What if Faraday was just a mad scientist and that was a guidebook of crazy person scribblings?
- Where does all of this leave Desmond?
- Is Ben evil? More importantly, will he ever be wicked awesome again?
And finally, What do you mean I have to wait till 2010! What am I supposed to do until then? What if I die? I’ll never find out what happens!
Lost, these are the reasons I continue to be with you. I’m giving you a second chance.

Last summer, I discovered one of the best things about living in Los Angeles: watching movies in a graveyard. And not just any graveyard—it’s the Hollywood Forever Cemetery on Santa Monica Boulevard. Where other cities hold movie screenings in normal places like parks or rooftops and such, L.A. takes the darkly glamorous route and shows old flicks next to the graves of Cecil B. Demille, Estelle Getty, and Dee Dee Ramone. Because of the popularity of the screenings, people arrive several hours early with a bounty of food and picnic on the grass while a DJ spins, getting lightly tipsy and waiting for the movie to begin. Last year they screened Carrie, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Alien, among many other awesome flicks. Truly fun.